mamalovebone:

"its a metaphor, you see—you put the killing thing right between your teeth, but you dont give it the power to do its killing"

mamalovebone:

"its a metaphor, you see—you put the killing thing right between your teeth, but you dont give it the power to do its killing"

(via bagmilk)


lamapalooza:

this is your captain speaking, AND THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN SHOUTING.

(via fake-mermaid)


mallardfillmore:

I almost just ruined my life

mallardfillmore:

I almost just ruined my life

(via turtwink)


elizabitchtaylor:

If the point of the Big Bang Theory was to show that male nerds can be just as sexist as male jocks then well done I guess

(via pornstarwars)


hi:

*walks past the gym carrying extra large pizza*

(via fake-mermaid)


(via hagridsbooty)


bruhcardi:

when u take off ur iphone case and it feels like ur holding a newborn

(via sassykardashian)


haus-of-ill-repute:

Cats come in both liquid and solid form.

haus-of-ill-repute:

Cats come in both liquid and solid form.

(via allmonds)


capitolsjay:

this guy is systematically undoing the world

(via twerkcentral)


jetblueivy:

leaving class on friday

(via jesuschristvevo)


(via fake-mermaid)


fake-mermaid:

*teenage white girl voice* umm, it’s a free country

(via dutchster)


darkesthorizons:

neptuneisforlovers:

ITS NOT SEWING SUPPLIES!

My question is how does every single person identify with this, is it like a secret rule to use those for sewing supplies?

darkesthorizons:

neptuneisforlovers:

ITS NOT SEWING SUPPLIES!

My question is how does every single person identify with this, is it like a secret rule to use those for sewing supplies?

(via dutchster)


officialbrony:

just-a-skinny-boy:


Yes thank you google, how did you know that the very first option I wanted was a Starbucks that’s two and a half thousand miles away good job google


don’t worry though, there’s light traffic

officialbrony:

just-a-skinny-boy:

Yes thank you google, how did you know that the very first option I wanted was a Starbucks that’s two and a half thousand miles away good job google

don’t worry though, there’s light traffic

(via releasethemurderbirds)


kid: dad whats a 69
dad: well son, a 69 is when two people who love each other very much get together with a 6 and a 9 and a 5 6 7 8 [spotlight turns on] [dad breaks into jazz number]