brandnudes:

sorry sir my tears ruined my homework

(via totheinternetandbeyond)


nishlo:

tukut:

ur mom hands u a glass of orange juice. u take a sip. its not orange juice. its stirred egg yolks. u spit them all out. u ask ur mom why. she turns around. its not ur mom. its me. ur mom is gone. im ur mother now

these old spice commercials have been getting really crazy lately 

(via twerkcentral)


legendofsherlock:

coolinternetgang:

y r white ppl obsessed with avocados 

image

idk wat ur talking about.

(via svveden)


dutchster:

i’m so sorry kids the easter bunny didn’t hide any eggs today because he smoked weed and now he’s dead. let that be a lesson to you

(via saltedvagina)


mamalovebone:

"its a metaphor, you see—you put the killing thing right between your teeth, but you dont give it the power to do its killing"

mamalovebone:

"its a metaphor, you see—you put the killing thing right between your teeth, but you dont give it the power to do its killing"

(via bagmilk)


lamapalooza:

this is your captain speaking, AND THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN SHOUTING.

(via fake-mermaid)


mallardfillmore:

I almost just ruined my life

mallardfillmore:

I almost just ruined my life

(via turtwink)


elizabitchtaylor:

If the point of the Big Bang Theory was to show that male nerds can be just as sexist as male jocks then well done I guess

(via pornstarwars)


hi:

*walks past the gym carrying extra large pizza*

(via fake-mermaid)


(via hagridsbooty)


bruhcardi:

when u take off ur iphone case and it feels like ur holding a newborn

(via sassykardashian)


haus-of-ill-repute:

Cats come in both liquid and solid form.

haus-of-ill-repute:

Cats come in both liquid and solid form.

(via allmonds)


capitolsjay:

this guy is systematically undoing the world

(via twerkcentral)


jetblueivy:

leaving class on friday

(via jesuschristvevo)


(via fake-mermaid)